


Too Caught Up To Slow Down

by chesca



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Fluff, In chapter 1, In chapter 2, M/M, Pre-Relationship, but not really, ghosting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:40:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26028100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chesca/pseuds/chesca
Summary: The faster you start, the more prone you are to crash and burn. Hinata Shouyou learns this the hard way.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Matsukawa Issei
Comments: 18
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chpater 1 is fluff and can be read as a stand alone! Hope you enjoy!

Hinata kicks the stray rock along the street in an irritated manner, grumbling complaints as he walks to the bus station. Why didn’t anyone tell him? He was so excited this morning and they suddenly bailed at the last minute? Yamaguchi had invited him yesterday to eat along with Kageyama and Tsukishima, mentioning that they haven’t hung out in a while. But a stupid setter had to suddenly get sick and of course his dear boyfriends would come to his aid.

Don’t get him wrong though, Hinata’s very happy for them. It’s just that ever since the three of them got together he’s been feeling very left out. The only time they got to hangout together was in practice.

So what’s he irritated at? Oh yeah, it’s the fact that they decided to tell him that when he’s already at the place they agreed to meet at. For once, for once! Hinata and Kageyama agreed to keep volleyball as far away from their minds as possible. But as mentioned before, his best friend had to get sick.

Hinata sighs as he turns a corner. He notices a pet shop just across the street. He already told his mother that he’d be out for the day, might as well make the most of it. Even if it had to just be him.

He looks both ways for any incoming cars, when there’s none he crosses the street and rushes in the pet shop. His eyes twinkle in amazement as he scans the pets in display. There's this one puppy who catches his attention, but there’s a guy who’s kneeling in front of it. Well, there’s nothing to be afraid of, he’s just another person who’s interested in a dog. It’s not like he’s going to intimidate him.

Hinata goes over to the puppy, placing himself behind the guy, and coos. “Hey there boy!”

The guy chuckles, still facing the puppy. “It’s a girl though.”

Hinata huffs. “Sorry I can’t actually see with you in the way.”

The guy then stands up with a laugh. “Sorry I didn’t think of tha- Hey it’s Karasuno’s number 10!”

Hinata widens his eyes at the guy in front of him. He’s part of the team who beat them last time, specifically their middle blocker. “Uhh you’re Seijoh’s middle blocker!” Hinata squeaks out, nervous over the fact that he doesn’t know his name and hello?! He’s part of the enemy team!

“Sorry Matsukawa Issei.” Matsukawa introduces, wearing a lazy grin. “You?”

“Hinata Shouyou!” Hinata accidentally says it too loud. It doesn’t faze Matsukawa though, he nods acknowledging his introduction. “So what are you doing around here? Isn’t Karasuno pretty far from here?”

“Uh..my friends bailed on me.” Hinata explains with a pout. “We were supposed to hang out today and then they cancelled! I know their excuse is reasonable but it’s just- why couldn’t they tell me earlier?!” Hinata realizes that he was ranting and is about to apologize to Matsukawa but the latter just nods again.

“Ah, I know the pain. My best friend bails on hangouts too ‘cause of his boyfriend but you eventually get used to it.” Matsukawa says with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Well at least you still have Iwaizumi-san and the Grand King. All three of my friends are dating! Leaving me,” Hinata gestures to himself. “Left out!”

“Grand king? You mean Oikawa, right?” Hinata nods his head. “Yeah ‘cause Kageyama’s called king but Oikawa-san’s greater so he’s called the grand king!” He explains.

Matsukawa snorts. “Well your Grand King and Iwaizumi are dating, leaving also me,” He gestures to himself. “Left out.”

Hinata laughs, then is suddenly panicking. What’s he supposed to say next? Oh god, why did he only ever talk about volleyball? The conversation is nowhere near volleyball, he can’t just change it to that! Besides, he’s on the enemy team, talking about volleyball might be weird-

“So are you doing anything today?” Matsukawa asks.

Hinata sighs, relieved that the conversation hasn’t died yet. “No, as I mentioned earlier, I’ve been abandoned.”

Matsukawa laughs again. “Well, I haven’t been abandoned but I have nothing to do as well today.” Matsukawa shoves his hands inside his pockets. “Wanna hangout?”

Hinata internally pouts. _So unfair, why is he so smooth?_

“Well what did you have in mind?”

“There’s this ice cream shop that opened up last week, I haven’t been able to try it yet. Wanna go there?”

Hinata nods his head. “Sure! Thanks for inviting me!”

Matsukawa laughs yet again. “Sure Hinata. Anytime.” He ruffles Hinata’s hair. “Let’s go.”

\--

_Matsukawa-san is so easy to get along with,_ Hinata realizes. Their conversation never died down once as they made their way to the ice cream parlor. Even when Hinata had panicked about carrying the conversation, Matsukawa easily saves it.

“Uwah! Their ice cream is so good!” Hinata says, taking another lick of the chocolate ice cream he ordered.

“Woah might want to go slower.” Matsukawa warns. “You might get a brain freeze.”

Hinata shakes his head. “I never get a brain freeze!”

Matsukawa widens his eyes and sets his cup of ice cream down on the table. “Wow, Hinata. That’s impressive.” He then pauses as if that’s so hard to believe. “Really? Not once? Ever?”

“Yeah!” Hinata nods his head. “Though when I mentioned that to Tsukishima, he said it was because I had no brain to begin with.”

Matsukawa chuckles. “The blond middle blocker? Yeah, he seems like the type to say that.” He then clicks his tongue at him and shakes his head disapprovingly. “You shouldn’t just let him tease like that. You gotta fight back Hinata.”

Hinata chuckles and waves his hand to disagree. “Nah, even if Tsuki’s like that he’s actually a pretty good guy.”

“Well if you say so.” Mastukawa then puts his elbow on the table and rests his chin on the palm of his hand. “But something tells me that your bright and sunny personality is the thing that you use to fight back at people.”

Hinata furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Matsukawa smiles. “You’re a force to be reckoned with Hinata. You’re optimistic even in the darkest of times. You pull everyone towards the direction you want while still being so honest about things. That’s a pretty great quality to have.”

Hinata blushes at the compliment and instead of replying he takes another lick of his ice cream.

“Ah you got some of it over there.” Matsukawa says.

Before Hinata could even ask where, Matsukawa leans over the table and swipes the stray ice cream off of the corner of his lips and licks it off his finger. “That’s sweet.” He comments while looking straight at Hinata.  
  


And Hinata reddens even further but he couldn’t take his eyes off Matsukawa. His lips are parted slightly and if Matsukawa only leans in even further they could actually kiss. They’re 3 inches apart and if Hinata could only gather courage to close the gap they could-

Then Matsukawa slumps back in his chair. “Hey Hinata, I think it’s time we head out.”

Hinata snaps back to reality. “Huh? Why? It’s still early.”

Matsukawa chuckles. “Sorry but I didn’t want to do this but I’m also,” He puts his hand over his chest as if it pains him to say the next few words. “Abandoning you.”

Hinata laughs. “It’s fine Matsukawa-san! You’re not abandoning me. Let’s just finish our ice creams first yeah?” Matsukawa nods and they both quietly finish their ice creams. Hinata’s thankful that Matsukawa doesn’t talk.

He’s thinking too much about that almost kiss and he doubts he could give any coherent replies.

Soon, they’re out of the store and Matsukawa offers to walk him to his bus stop.

Hinata doesn’t want to admit it but he’s kind of sad that they didn't get to ki- hangout even further.

Once they reach the bus stop, Hinata faces Matsukawa with a smile. "Thank you for hanging out with me Matsukawa-san."

Matsukawa smiles. “Issei. Call me Issei.”

Hinata blushes yet again but he refuses to be reduced to speechlessness. “Fine Issei-san,” Oh shit, Hinata kind of likes how his name rolls off his tongue. “Call me Shouyou.”

“Whatever you want Shouyou.” Matsukawa then chuckles. “I kinda like how your name rolls off my tongue like that.”

Hinata internally begs him to stop being so smooth and forward. Please. It’s not good for his heart. “I think my bus is about to arrive soon.” Hinata changes the subject.

“Yeah, it is.” Matsukawa then extends his hand. “Give me your phone would you?”

Hinata doesn’t even give it a second thought and hands it over. He sees Matsukawa type something in and extends his hand again to give it back. When Hinata reaches to get it back, Matsukawa grabs his hands and refuses to let it go. “Text me?”

When Hinata nods, Matsukawa places his lips softly on Hinata’s fingertips. “I’m looking forward to it Shouyou.” Matsukawa’s voice is deep when he says that and it leads to Hinata blushing even further than he thought was possible.

Then in a blink of an eye, Matsukawa is back to his lazy and easy going stance while Hinata’s arm is still stretched out his own phone back in his hands. Matsukawa laughs and Hinata snaps back to reality.

The bus then arrives and Hinata doesn’t know whether to take it as a blessing or not. “Well get home safe Shouyou.” Hinata nods his head and makes his way towards the bus.

“Oh before you forget.” Matsukawa says making Hinata turn back and face him. “We’re the ones going to Nationals.”

Hinata grins at him, his previous flusteredness forgotten. “No we are. We’re going to beat you next time.”

Matsukawa then laughs with a nod and gestures for him to get on the bus already.

Once Hinata’s seated, he still sees Matsukawa waiting for the bus to leave. Hinata waves his hand at him but instead of getting a wave back, Matsukawa winks at him.

Hinata then faces forward and covers his face with his hands. _Why did he have to be so damn smooth?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold text stands for their texts!

Hinata looks at Kenma in distress. "Kenma should I text him?"

"Shouyou you've been asking me that question for the last 20 minutes." Kenma says and looks up from his psp. "Just get it over with."

"But we're in a training camp!" Hinata leans closer towards Kenma with a worried face. "What if I don't see his texts?"

Kenma rolls his eyes. "It's not like his texts would disappear if you don't read it instantly." He then puts down his psp and looks at him seriously. "But if this guy ever ghosts you anytime, just say his name and number-"

"Kenma that's kind of scary." Hinata states. "But I appreciate it though! Thank you!" He pulls Kenma into a hug.

"I am serious though." Kenma says when he pulls away.

Hinata shakes his head. "I doubt he'd do that though! He's such a nice guy!"

Kenma smiles softly at him. "Well if you're sure."

"Of course I am! I already told you the story of how we met!"

"Yeah or alternatively entitled: how you fell in love with a guy you spent less than a day with."

Hinata glares at him. "I didn't fall in love!" He protests. "It's just a crush."

Kenma nods, dismissing the matter. "Well whatever, you still haven't texted him anyway."

Hinata looks at the phone clutched in his hand. Should he text him already? It's already been a week since they met, he even dragged this out until the summer training camp.

Hinata takes a deep breath and sends an I'm doing it glance at Kenma first before typing in his first message to Matsukawa.

**Hinata: Matsukawa-san! This is Hinata Shouyou uhh… hi!**

Hinata puts his phone down about to boast his triumph to Kenma for having texted his crush, when his phone suddenly pings.

**Unknown Number: Hey Shouyou, didn't I tell you to call me Issei :((**

Hinata chuckles, and types in a response.

**Hinata: Uwah! I'm sorry Issei-san! I kinda forgot…**

**Matsukawa: Well considering that it took you a week to text me, understandable**

**Hinata: agdjdhshshs I didn't mean to not text you!**

**Matsukawa: So you just forgot? I thought I made more of an impact on you Shouyou, I'm hurt 😔💔**

**Hinata: No didn't forget! I was thinking about how to text you for the past week and then it all just flew over my head and**

**Hinata: You're teasing me aren't you >:((**

**Matsukawa: Me? I would never do that!**

**Hinata: ...I thought you were nice Issei-san :((**

**Matsukawa: I am!!!**

**Matsukawa: so what are you doing right now?**

**Hinata: nothing much, just hanging around with kenma**

**Matsukawa: Kenma?**

**Hinata: Nekoma's setter! We're actually in Tokyo right now for training camp!**

**Matsukawa: Aww that's too bad :(( I wanted to hang out with you again**

**Hinata: Really?!!! I want to hang out with you too but agdjdhshs**

**Hinata: It's very busy rn??? There are tests and volleyball and we still have to beat you!**

**Matsukawa: well we can always hang out when we're free**

**Matsukawa: but we're the ones who are going to beat you**

"Shouyou I think you should go back to your room already." Kenma reminds him. "I don't want Kageyama to come rushing in here again."

“Okay! Goodnight Kenma!” Hinata says, skipping towards where the Karasuno volleyball team was staying. All the way there his eyes were glued to his phone, continuing to exchange texts with Mastukawa.

Even when they all get ready to sleep, Hinata’s under the blanket of his futon texting Mastukawa. And if he did stay up until 2am just to talk to him, no one but Hinata and Matsukawa would ever know.

Training Camp passes by in a flash and not once did Matsukawa and Hinata miss a day texting each other. For Hinata it had become a routine. He wakes up everyday to text a good morning and proceeds to get ready for school. He receives a reply the time he’s either walking to school or already at morning practice. Matsukawa always complains that he wakes up too early in which Hinata just laughs it off and texts back something along the lines of getting more things done. They also text each other during breaks or sometimes during class.

“Hinata, you’ve been using your phone more nowadays.” Yamaguchi says, peeking over Hinata’s shoulder to try and get a look.

“Hey!” Hinata hides his phone from Yamaguchi’s view. “Invasion of privacy.”

“I’m surprised you even know that.” Tsukishima says, swiftly taking Hinata’s phone. “Oho? What do you have here-”

“Kageyama get your boyfriends under control!” Hinata shouts to the setter who just shrugs in response. “I am kinda curious too, you don’t even beg me to toss to you during breaks.” Kageyama says, walking over to the rest of the group of first years.

"Kageyama you're supposed to be on my side!" Hinata whines.

Tsukishima snickers then proceeds to show both of his boyfriends the contents of Hinata's phone.

Kageyama's eyes widen in surprise and his head whips to face Hinata. "You're talking to Matsukawa-senpai?!"

"You call him senpai?!" Hinata says in surprise and… Envy?

"That's what you're concerned with?!" Kageyama says and then huffs in frustration. “What if he’s spying on you? They’re our enemies Hinata!”

“Now now Tobio, calm down.” Tsukishima puts a hand on Kageyama’s head. “Well have you two been playing volleyball?”

Hinata shakes his head. “We only met once! When you guys ditched me,” Hinata scowls making Tsukishima snicker and Yamaguchi chuckle, “and then we’re just texting each other. That’s all!”

“I always thought that he was dating the other one! Uhh the one with pink hair…” Yamaguchi tries to remember his name when Kageyama speaks up. “Hanamaki-senpai.” He glances at Hinata, expecting him to react again about the use of senpai.

He doesn’t though, instead Hinata shakes his head. “Issei-san said that Hanamaki-san had a boyfriend so-”

“ISSEI?” All three of them exclaim in disbelief at the same time.

“Yeah, what’s wrong? He calls me Shouyou though-”

“When did you guys meet again?” Yamaguchi asks, putting both of his hands on Hinata’s shoulders.

“Uh a week before training camp?”

Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Kageyama all share a look that Hinata can’t quite understand. It seems important but Hinata just brushes it off. They’re boyfriends after all, they’re bound to share an inside joke or two.

“Hey I’m not a part of that telepathy thing you guys have.” Hinata states with a pout. “What’s wrong?”

None of them say anything for a while, making Hinata frown.

“Hey? Guys?”

Tsukishima’s the first one to speak. “It’s nothing Hinata, we were just thinking about the many ways you could have leaked any information about us.”

Hinata glares at him. "Like I said! We haven't even talked much in person yet!"

"Don't mind him Hinata." Yamaguchi says with a chuckle. "I think you and Kageyama should go and practice now, right?"

Hinata perks up at the mentioned word and faces Kageyama with a bright smile. "Bakayama! Toss to me!" Hinata exclaims as he runs off to the middle of the court.

Kageyama doesn’t say anything insulting to address Hinata’s state and just nods at him with a wave of his hand.

A moment silence passes through the three of them again.

“I really thought that Matsukawa-senpai and Hanamaki-senpai were dating…” Kageyama mumbles.

“I saw them kiss at InterHigh.” Yamaguchi says

Tsukishima clicks his tongue. “Let’s just hope the shrimp knows what he’s doing.” 

\--

**Hinata: WE BEAT OHGIMINAMI HIGH AND KAKUGAWA HIGH!**

**Matsukawa: The one with the two meter giant?!**

**Hinata: Yeah! You should’ve seen us! We were like whoosh and bam!**

**Matsukawa: That’s great Hinata! Good job!**

**Matsukawa: But you can’t rest easy yet, you still haven’t defeated us.**

**Hinata: Ha! Just you wait until October! We’ll beat you!**

**Matsukawa: Sure, sure goodluck with that :)**

**Hinata: >:((**

**Hinata: Just wait and see!!**

**Matsukawa: I said sure didn’t I? Oh wait gtg, we’re going out for some ramen**

**Hinata: UWAH! NOW I WANT ONE TOO! HAPPY EATING ISSEI-SAN!**

**Matsukawa: Thanks, oh by the way**

**Hinata: ???**

**Matsukawa: I’m proud of you Shouyou**

Hinata reads the last line over and over again. It’s just five words, it shouldn’t bubble out these kinds of positive feelings out his chest. It shouldn’t make him collapse onto the bed with a goofy smile on his face.

What does he even reply to that? Hinata’s fingers hover over the keyboard and he tosses it aside too giddy to even form a coherent response. Matsukawa will understand anyway, he always does.

October comes around and the rematch of Aoba Johsai and Karasuno is in commence. When Hinata delivers that final spike to win the match, he immediately looks for Matsukawa. He wants to hear it, those five words Matsukawa texted last month. He spots the back of Matsukawa’s head. _Oh, he’s not looking at me._

That’s understandable, they just lost. It’s their last game of high school, Hinata could understand.

**Hinata: Issei-san?**

No answer.

Hinata could understand.

They faced Shiratorizawa and Karasuno won.

Still no answer.

Well maybe Matsukawa still needs more time, it’s understandable. Hinata could understand.

And come November, Mastukawa still didn’t answer. Hinata gazes at his last message, tempted to just send another. Just to make sure? Maybe Matsukawa just wasn’t able to read it? Okay, just to make sure.

**Hinata: Hey?**

Two weeks pass like it’s eternity as Hinata still waits for a reply. Any reply, any sign that he hasn’t been

abandoned.

Hinata waits.

And waits.

Until when is he waiting?

He doesn’t know.

Did he say something bad? He recalls every conversation they had, was there any warning signs?

“What the hell?” Hinata says in disbelief. It’s been over two weeks since their last conversation. Oh god, did he grow tired of him?

_Well, it was only a matter of time…_

Hinata shakes his head, no this isn’t the time to think of that. Maybe he was just busy! But honestly though, who was he to expect a reply? They were just friends… no obligations, no commitment. Matsukawa doesn’t owe Hinata anything. 

“I’m such a fool.” Hinata bites his lip and finally turns off his phone.

But it never does leave his hand.

\--

The week before November ends, a ping from his phone makes Hinata scramble around for his phone among the piles of homework on his table.

He doesn’t turn it on immediately. _It’s stupid to hope,_ Hinata thinks.

It could be anyone, anyone at all. But Hinata hopes, no matter how stupid that is, he hopes that it’s the person he’s been longing to talk to for a month now.

**Matsukawa: Hey**

_Fuck it is him_

The things Hinata wanted to say bombards his mind all at once. _Where were you? What happened? Why did you leave? Was it because of me? Do you hate me? Did you grow tired of me?_

Hinata arranges his thoughts and with a deep breath he begins to type his first question.

Hinata: Where have you be-

**Matsukawa: So what’cha up to Shouyou?**

Hinata freezes. _Why is he acting like nothing happened?_

**Matsukawa: Shouyou?**

Something whispers in Hinata’s mind that it’s best to just drop it. If Hinata brings it up, would Matsukawa leave again?

**Hinata: Hey sorry I was studying.**

**Matsukawa: Wow you? You were studying?**

**Matsukawa: Is it the end of the world yet?**

**Hinata: Oh shut up.**

And just like that everything’s back to normal.

\--

“So you’re talking with Matsukawa-san again?” Yachi asks.

“Yeah! He messaged me last week!” Hinata says with a smile.

“That’s good.” She says with a small smile. “But if you don’t mind me asking,”

“Hmm? What is it?”

“Why did he even disappear for a month?”

Hinata freezes and his smile drops. “Ah… I don’t know…”

Yachi’s eyebrows shoot up and she looks at him with a shocked face. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW?!”

“I don’t know…” Hinata repeats but with a strained voice.

“Did he refuse to tell you?” Silence. “Did you even ask him?” Hinata winces.

Yachi sighs. “You should ask him Hinata, it’s not fair for him to leave you hanging like that.”

“I know… but what if he does it again?” Hinata whispers the last part.

“Then he’s an asshole.” Yachi then puts a reassuring hand on Hinata’s shoulder. “And you shouldn’t talk to assholes okay?”

Hinata chuckles. “He’s not an asshole.”

Yachi shrugs. “Well there’s one way to check.”

Later that day Hinata gathers up the courage to ask.

**Hinata: Issei-san, why did you suddenly disappear for a month?**

The moment Hinata presses send he tosses his phone aside and anxiously waits for Matsukawa’s reply to arrive. A few minutes passes and Hinata checks his phone again. There’s no reply.

An hour passes, still no reply.

It’s midnight, still no reply.

The message arrives at 2 am, just in time before Hinata finally gives up on waiting.

**Matsukawa: I’m sorry.**

**Matsukawa: At first, it was just losing to Karasuno.**

**Matsukawa: Then some stuff happened.**

_Stuff happened?_

_Wait, he likes me?_

**Matsukawa: You don’t have to answer right away.**

**Matsukawa: We could just stay like this.**

_Oh, that’s fine too, I guess._

**Hinata: Uh okay I guess, but just to double check…**

**Hinata: You like me Issei-san?**

**Matsukawa: Uh yeah Shouyou but I think we should wait a bit.**

**Matsukawa: Let’s see first where we are going, yeah?**

_He’d wait for me?_

**Hinata: Oh okay**

**Hinata: Yeah, I think I need to figure out what I feel too.**

**Matsukawa: Well, I don’t mind waiting if it’s you.**

**Hinata: Thanks Issei-san**

The Shiratorizawa First Year Training Camp comes around and Hinata remembers the conversation he had with Matsukawa regarding it.

**Hinata: I’m just a ball boy :((**

**Matsukawa: Hey don’t worry I’m sure you’ll do great!**

**Matsukawa: And if you do well and learn a lot…**

**Matsukawa: Wanna hang out again?**

_A Date?_

**Hinata: I’ll do my best!**

So when the training camp finally ends he approaches Kunimi immediately and asks for Matsukawa’s address.

Kunimi raises a brow at him. “For what?”

“Uh I wanted to surprise him?” Hinata says with a sheepish smile.

“Okay but why?” Kunimi eyes him warily.

“Just because,” Hinata then looks at him with pleading eyes. “You can trust me.”

Kunimi stares at him for a moment and sighs. “Fine but if anything happens to Matsukawa-san, I’m blaming it on you.”

Hinata nods and eagerly types the address Kunimi is relaying on to him.

“Bye Kunimi! Thank you!” Hinata runs off before Kunimi could even say anything.

“Well I guess he knows about it anyway.” Kunimi mumbles before walking away.

A week passes by and Hinata couldn't wait to arrive at Matsukawa’s home. He even reserved that one restaurant that Matsukawa mentioned in passing. He also stopped by the local flower shop to buy some flowers, some white lilies, white carnations and pink roses to be exact. The skip in his step is very obvious and on his way he even hums his favorite song.

He arrives in front of Matsukawa’s door and his hand is ready to knock. He’s filled with excitement and giddiness. He couldn't wait to hang out with him again, or actually just to talk to him again. He hasn’t been able to talk to him ever since the Training Camp ended but maybe he’s just busy with exams. He did mention it once before. He wants to talk about the training camp, how he’s still learning receiving, oh and also that split-step! Hinata also wants to talk about the practice match they had with Date Tech and how everyone’s improving!

Lost in his thoughts, Hinata unconsciously reaches for the knob and opens the door. He’s about to sputter apologies but the scene in front of him stops him from doing so.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki are on the couch. Making out.

Hinata's eyes widen and he really wishes that he'd be anywhere but here. "What the fuck?"

Both of the people in front of him stills and faces him with wide eyes. "What the actual fuck?" Hinata says again, this time more loudly and with more spite.

"Hinata I-"

"Oh so it's Hinata now?" Hinata dryly laughs. "Oh god, looking back there were so many red flags. There were so many hints! I should have seen them, I was so stupid not to- I’m so fucking stupid! And the worst part is, I- I- I can't even be mad." His voice breaks at the last part.

Hinata then glances at the flowers clutched in his hands. He slightly grimaces at the sight, the stems are all crushed together. They didn't deserve that. And yet Hinata wanted to throw the flowers at his face, he wanted to throw it on the ground, he wanted to release his frustration.

Hinata looks back at the person in front of him. "I can't even be mad because we weren't even official. That's why I came here- that's why I-" _wanted to make it official today._ Hinata leaves the last part unsaid.

"We're not official." Matsukawa says, referring to himself and Hanamaki. The latter looks at him in shock but nonetheless keeps his mouth shut.

"Oh my god that's even more fucked up." Hinata laughs dryly. Tears start to form at the corner of his eyes, but no, Hinata refuses to let them spill. Well, at least in front of the guy he's been talking to for the past few months.

"You said you liked me..." Hinata mumbles.

"I did, I- I do but-"

"You said you'd wait for me!" Hinata yells, almost tempted to throw the flowers but stops himself in doing so. They deserve better than this, they deserve much more.

Matsukawa stays silent. Hinata bites his lip and glances at Hanamaki, who usually wears an easy smile, frowning. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Hanamaki looks at him, frown still in place. "We're not official. Really."

"And you're okay with that?"

Hanamaki sighs. "It was my idea in the first place."

Matsukawa opens his mouth to explain-

"No." Hinata says shaking his head. "Whatever the fuck this is." He gestures to the both of them. "I don't want to be a part of it."

"Hinata please I can-"

"WE TALKED FOR 3 MONTHS!" Hinata yells. "Ghosted me for one! And proceeded to come back to my life the week after. And just last last week you told me you asked me out on a date and I reserved that fucking restaurant you really wanted to eat at and-" Hinata stops himself and takes a deep breath. "What was it that you wanted from me? Was I just to pass time?"

"At first but what I said last week-"

"Oh my god so when you kissed my hand and told me to call you Issei it was just to pass time?" Hinata says aloud, shocked, confused and disappointed all at the same time.

Matsukawa doesn’t say anything. "Was it because Hanamaki-san had a boyfriend?"

Silence.

"So it is because he had a boyfriend." Hinata says with a shaky laugh. "Well, at least you didn't lie? I have to give you that."

"Shou-"

"It's Hinata." Hinata corrects him with an icy glare. "And you don't need to explain," He pushes the flowers into Matsukawa's chest. "Whatever this was between us, it's done. Don't fucking call or text me."

He then glances at Hanamaki, who had his head down. "Well considering you're with him, that's what you're gonna do anyway."

Hinata heads out, the tears finally spilling out of his eyes. He doesn’t even hear footsteps chasing him. So he walks, and walks, then he runs, he runs at full speed. Desperate for shelter, desperate for homage. He sees a park bench and sits there and he lets everything out. And for a moment he wishes. He wishes that he asked why. He wishes that he stayed and talked it out. Maybe to get some closure, some answers. Maybe even a second chance-

Hinata grimly laughs. _How fucked up is this that he still thinks of a second chance?_

He then looks up, tears flowing non-stop and wishes yet again.

_I wish this didn’t hurt so much._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the fic! Anyways thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are much appreciated!
> 
> Check me out on twt: [ _f_chesca ](https://twitter.com/_f_chesca?s=09)


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